He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize