i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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