Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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