Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Mom said you looked used
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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