I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
