You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
