In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
