She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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