I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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