Sry I called you an 8
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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