She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Randomize
