I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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