Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
