ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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