i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize