it wasn't lemon gatorade
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
