And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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