She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
