im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
