Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
