Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
