Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize