so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
