Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
