they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
