he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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