To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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