Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
