Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
