either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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