I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
