Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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