it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We have started to decorate penises.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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