Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Randomize
