I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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