Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
