i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
