the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
