god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
