He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
