How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
