I wish my penis had an off switch
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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