I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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