I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
