that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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