Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
