My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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