Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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