i barfeds in our rink
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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