I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Randomize
