Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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