Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's blow job season.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
