Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
