TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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