Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
