u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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