TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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