I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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