Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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