happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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