All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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