"it" just moved
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
