Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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