Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize