remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
