It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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