We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
