You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
